I am sorry that I did not get on here yesterday. It was a difficult day. Many things related to this difficult road made for a rough day.

So back to my story, We had a short engagement and sometimes it was rocky. Jerry drank more as time wore on than I wanted him to. He would sometimes drink at least a six pack of beer a day, sometimes more. People would tell me that he drank too much but I just figured that he would stop after we got married, that it was not a problem, that he drank for fun. I would drink a wine cooler or two with him and also got drunk a few times so I didn't see anything wrong in him drinking like he did.

One time however during our dating period he disappeared for three days. He did not tell anyone where he was going. I had gone to his house to wait for him so we could go do something, I can't remember what it was now. All I remember is that he did not show up. I called his mom to see if she knew where he was but she did not. When he did not show up the next day we were both worried. After the second night his mom went to Montrose, the town where he used to live, and found him and his brother at a motel. Jerry was drunk and did not come home but she really chewed him out. She had also taken her husband with her. He was ill and dying but he wanted to go.

I was very upset at that and also as our relationship progressed I worried about the drinking. But the wedding plans were made, I had my invitations and my dress. I could not back out. I also was ready to move out on my own. I did not want to live in my dads home any longer for many reasons that could actually fill another blog.

I thought about backing out of the wedding but decided to move forward with it and try to make it work. I loved Jerry very much and hoped that he would love me enough to change for me, for us, because of his deep love for me. I was only 20 years old, ready to be a wife and eventually a mom. So on October 15, 1983 I became Mrs. Jerry Miller.

That's all for now, I will say more soon.

The Journey Begins

I decided to begin this blog because I have been traveling a rough road much of my life. Lately however it has been a bit rougher than usual. I am not sure where to begin except I guess at the beginning and the end.

The beginning of the current story is on July 22, 2014 while I was looking around in the Disney Gallery in Disneyland I received a phone call from the social services in Delta, Colorado. The man on the other end told me that my ex husband was in the hospital in Delta and completely mentally incapacitated. My first thought was that he had a stroke. I was shocked, so  I called the hospital and tried to talk to him myself. He could barely talk and did not know much of what was going on. This was heartbreaking because he is the father of my children and I did love him at one time. You never want to see anyone in this situation.

Social services told me that someone had to take over for him, needed to become his legal guardian or he would  become a ward of the state and lose all that he owned. As the mother of his children I could not let this happen. So, against my better judgement I stepped in as his legal guardian, scared and unsure of every step I would be taking.

His diagnosis is Werneke Korsakoff Syndrome which translates to Alcohol dementia. This is caused by being an alcoholic and drinking so much that you kill brain cells. Not all alcoholics get it but it is a result of alcohol and a poor diet. I will not get into the details of the syndrome now though.

The journey that I have taken to help him has been full of constant difficulty because he has gotten to a place where he can speak and understand some things. He has been nothing but cruel and accused me of spending his money when all I did was save him from losing all that he owns.

This has made it very hard for me to continue helping him. I remind myself daily that it is for my children because he is their father. That does not always make it easy. So, I thought writing a blog about the journey I have taken in helping someone who has what is called the never ending death.

The beginning of the story I guess needs to start with the beginning of my relationship with my ex husband. The time when I thought he was the best person on earth and was so very much in love.

I met my ex husband when we both worked at a local cable company. I worked in the office and he was an installer. My job was temporary but I loved it.  His name is Jerry, he installed cable, he was very handsome and a lot of fun to be around.

When Jerry first came into the cable office I found him very attractive and as he talked I found him funny. He was so very nice and well, just a lot of fun to be around. I was only 20 and fell head over heals in love with this handsome man.  He seemed to like me a lot too. All of us in the office laughed, talked and got along very well.

After about a week Jerry asked me out on a date. Oh yea I was thrilled.  We went on our first date which led to many other dates. Well, our dates after that were going fishing, hiking and getting wood. We spent a lot of time just hanging out with friends or at his house. It was all fine with me.

When we first started dating Jerry would several beers but I never really noticed because he did not get falling down drunk and he was just such a fun person to be around. He was the guy who was the life of the party in a fun sort of way.  Everyone liked Jerry.

I had heard rumors that he had done drugs in his past but I figured if he had, it was past so I would not let it effect how I felt about him. He was nice to me and that was all that mattered.

We met in May, started dating then too, were engaged in August and set our wedding date for October.

I will stop there for now my readers, I will say more tomorrow.