Our first year ended in losing my sweet father in law. The second year was full of alcohol and loss too. Jerry did not let up on drinking. He also did not let up on disappearing for hours or days either.
Jerry's brother Terry joined in on the fun too. They were drinking together a lot. Their mom would followthem and chew them out and they would both be angry with her. I got mad because she really did need to leave them alone but yet still cared for her and was close to her.
One time Jerry, his brother, his brotheres five year old son and I went ice fishing. It was neat going to the lake and cuting the hole, then putting out a tent to fish. Of course though the day had to be full of beeer. Jerry and his brother had their cases of beer and before the day was done were both trashed. They stayed all night at the lake while my nephew and I went home. We went back the next day to fishi wht them and as we were headed there my little five year old nephew said to me " I wish my daddy would not be drunk all the time." that broke my heart.
I spent many nights finding Jerry at the bar.I hated it.
There were days he stayed sober but those were days he would get up, eat and nap all day. It was sad that I looked forward to him napping all day just so he was home sober.
Jerry lost his job at the cable company close to our first anniversary. He had failed to show up to work too many times. The boss knew him and knew he was out drinking the night before and did not make it to work because he had stayed up too late.
Not too long after he lost his job at the cable company he did find one at a motor shop and was making very good money so it was nice to not be broke all of the time. I had hoped that we would get ahead but the drinking sucked all the money he made.
Our love life remained the same, pretty much non-existant. He was not interested in me at all. I heard from one of his friends that it was because he did cocaine but I wasnt' sure. I wanted to believe that he would not do that.
He still played the games iwht me hwere he would get me all excited only to say he was tired and go to bed.
This year was the year when he started being mad at me for reasons unknown too. I would sit next tom him wanting to cuddle and he would just fold his arms. I would ask what was wrong and he would tell me nothing. Then a few days later he would say he was made at me but couldn't remember why. I got the silent treatment a lot. As for our love life, I think we had sex maybe once every two or three months. This was hard on a young woman like me.
Jerry's brother and him drank together more and more this year. They also fought a lot because Terry was a violent drunk. It was a trying time.
So the second year moved along with Jerry drunk, cold to me most of the time and me wondering what I had gotten myself into. So around August of 1995 I had decided once again that I would leave him. But on one horrible night his brother, Terry, my brother nad friend, killed himself. He had been drunk and mad so he was gonig to show everyone. We were all devastaed. I could not leave Jerry now.
I hoped that maybe all of this tragedy would make Jerry see how destructive alcohol was. I was wrong, it did not.
Losing Terry was so hard on all of us. My heart was broken. I had lost a dear friend. His mom was so heartbroken ans well, we all were.
Not too long after Terry died I got a job at a hotel in the area called The Cortez Inn. That experience is one that would save me from being completely depressed over my marriage to
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